Many of us have regrets…I know I used to. Not so much anymore. Here’s why:
Regrets are a shackle. They keep us chained to guilt and shame. They keep us in scarcity mindset. They are a terrible master.
Do you have things that, knowing what you know now, you would do differently, if given a Re-Do? Sure! This is a healthy way to look at our past because we are finding our teachable moment. What THIS mindset shift means is that we can TAKE something valuable away from a part of our history that is not our favorite, something that hurt us, shamed us and shackled us. Whether that “something” was by our choice or done to us, we can LEARN to take more away from it than what it took FROM us.
The good news is that we can actually release ourselves from our own shackles. Easier said than done, sometimes, we need help to get the job done. If we didn’t need help, we wouldn’t be so overtaken by guilt and shame so much of the time. (As a culture and especially as women in our culture, we are often burdened by shame and guilt). Yes, we can free ourselves from living a life full of regrets. Often, we need someone else to help us loosen the shackles…heck, often we even need someone to help us see that we have shackles on…we just get so use to them, we don’t even know they are there anymore. Sound familiar? I’m talking from TOTAL experience, y’all.
I communicated with a woman who shared that she laid awake in the middle of the night, torn by grief. She thought of all the years that she gave away in a relationship that was challenging and hard. She grieved the wasted years. And, as she thought of all the ways in which it was hard, all the ways that she had given herself to this relationship, she came to one vitally important mindshift. She told herself, “I was so strong to go through all of that”. BAM.
That ONE statement. That ONE revelation. THAT Mindshift Moment* is all she needed to remind herself that if she was strong enough to endure what she did, then she can TRUST HERSELF to know that she is certainly strong enough NOW. Those years were not wasted because she now has a valuable take-away from that time and that shift can propel her into some crazy, life-altering goodness now.
The crazy thing is that, even though she had that Mindset Moment, it wasn’t until I helped her see that if she was that strong THEN, how strong did those years make her NOW and how much more she can be for her future.
She was so thrilled, so grateful. I didn’t do more than connect the dots for her, but it was a BIG missing link that brought her energy, excitement and HOPE.
If you can shift JUST ONE THING today, this week, this month…let it be that YOU will take away MORE than what a “negative” experience took from you.
THIS is how we grow more fully, more powerfully into that version of ourselves that we long to be.
Have some regrets that are just hard to shake? Guilt or shame weighing down your vision, your goals? Bring me your biggest problem and let’s get on track to find your Mindshift Moments and make them work for you!
All My Best,
*Mindshift Moments are the intellectual property of Amy K Vaughn Coaching.